 |  12-12-2007, 09:57 AM |  | Community Angel (50+ Posts) | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: Folsom, PA near Philadelphia Posts: 77 | |  TIO Assistance
Hi, I would like to ask for assistance from any forum members. Your perspective is valuable. I have finished doing the TIO course and what I have come up with as my business TIO is:
PLan B: Discover it, Dream it, Do it, Create YOUR Dream....
Not quite 3 seconds. Is anyone curious? I'll explain further as I get replies.
Best,
Mary | 12-12-2007, 09:05 PM |  | | | Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 25 | |
Hi, Mary,
I had no idea what you were offering, so I took a look at your website. Is this TIO for the same business as your website? It did not seem that good a description.
There are a lot of attractive words in your statement, but without more specifics, I was not that compelled by it. I think it falls down in the believability department -- a little more concrete detail would help people understand what you are offering.
If it does go with your website, I think playing to the theme of "Web networking made easy at a surprisingly low cost" might help people know whether they want what you're offering more easily.
Good luck! TIO's are challenging!
Anna Paradox | 12-12-2007, 09:43 PM |  | Board Neophyte | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Christchurch New Zealand Posts: 58 | |
I think it's very close. The url createyourdream is fantastic - the slogan not quite so.
I wouldn't claim to have the exact answer but you probably know that there is a mystical belief in the number 3 being very powerful. Soundbites, taglines etc delivered in 3's are very strong. Politicians do it all the time.
I suspect if you dropped any one of the 4 directives, it would sound stronger.
Dream it, do it, create your dream
Discover it, dream it, do it
etc, all sound a lot punchier to me but interested to know what others think.
Combined with your great URL, you could be close to a great touchstone but you still need the other 2 parts of course! I'm sure you've got them so throw them on in here! | 12-14-2007, 11:46 AM | | Community Angel (50+ Posts) | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: Folsom, PA near Philadelphia Posts: 77 | |  Input thanks
Thanks, Anna, Ed, for input so far. Yes, I will shorten it. Discover it, Do it, Create YOUR Dream. What my business is about and the product line I am developing has to do with the Homebased business industry, targeting those who are searching for a Plan B in their career or lifestyle or entrepreneurship, that fits them more closely since what they are now doing just isn't working out as well anymore. The URL I use, www.createyourdream.org points to a value rich membership site I am part of, not my business url. That is still unpublished. | 01-01-2008, 11:08 AM |  | Board Neophyte | | Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 17 | | One Thing I've Noticed About Great Offers
One thing I've noticed about great offers is that there's an element of time involved. Not all great TIOs have them, but it helps. The Pizza Hut one that Mark is fond of has the 30 minutes.
Another is to say "Guaranteed," That helps.
What about:
The 3-Step, 3-Month Process To Discovering, Doing, And Creating Your Dream...Guaranteed!
TheGreatWarrior __________________ The Fastest, Most Convenient and The Most Effective Way To Get Into Your Best Shape Ever...Guaranteed!
Let Me Show You How... | 01-24-2008, 07:55 PM |  | Board Neophyte | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: Eumundi, Queensland, Australia Posts: 23 | |
Quote: | Originally Posted by createyourdream PLan B: Discover it, Dream it, Do it, Create YOUR Dream....
| sounds like 3D's is your success. Leona | | Thread Tools | Search this Thread | | | | | Display Modes |  Linear Mode |  Posting Rules | You may not post new threads You may not post replies You may not post attachments You may not edit your posts
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